when and how?… rescued.

Do you ever find yourself doing something where you say, “that’s not me.” Or, “why did I just do that? It’s like I had no control.” I find myself getting caught up on those moments very often lately. It’s as if I let one thing sway me until one day I stop and look back and wonder how I got so far. It’s like dipping your foot in the ocean and testing the waters to see how much more you can handle until finally you become less distracted by what is drawing you further in, and pay attention to why you have been drawn in. That is when you look behind you and realize you are a hundred feet from shore and stuck in the deep end with no floatie!

That is a tactic of the devil. Progressive. A little here and a little there until BAM! There you are. The enemy has no power to make us do anything. All he can do is put thoughts into our minds. If we yield to those thoughts and give into temptation then that is when we get into a mess. He entices us with the things we want, desire, or lust after. If we aren’t prepared then we can be swept away and not even realize it. We stay focused on what we want; what looks good, and not on what is right; or where we need to be going.

So many people waste literally years of their lives because of one small harmless enticement they engaged in. Giving in once with no or little consequence only makes it easier to give in again. When you have a heart to do the right thing and follow where God leads, then you can only travel down this “lusts of the flesh” road for so long before it literally begins to eat at you. Weigh you down. Make you miserable. And show you what you are truely missing out on.

As humans we need to be entertained. We need to do things we enjoy and things to make us happy and keep us going. There are a million things thrown at us everyday that appears to be “just what you need” according to society and media. This world has so much to offer… to our flesh. BUT.. the Kingdom of God has more to offer than any earthly thing could fulfill. It’s really hard sometimes to stay focused on what lies ahead for us. The important things. God gave us life for a chance to live on this earth and freely do as we please. Make our own choices. Enjoy life! But it is what we do here, or, don’t do here, that determines our reward in heaven!

So today, just be encouraged. It’s ok to have desires for earthen things. We all do. And if you give in to them, watch out–don’t get religous on me– but that’s ok too. That’s what grace is there for. God knooooows that we can’t do stuff right on our own. We have the adamic nature–the first man Adam. So that is why God provides grace; to substitute our weakness for His strength. The supernatural ability to do what is right and necessary to succeed. And He is willingly waiting every single day to apply more grace to our lives if we ask Him.

I noticed that I was beginning to have false humility or even a portion of pride when it came to that area. I would think, “what’s the point of asking for more grace if I know I’m gonna mess up again AND that I even want to mess up again.” It doesn’t matter. Grace is always there to be activated no matter what! Even if we don’t feel worthy or think it’s pointless. OR if we think we can fix it on our own. I sometimes feel embarrassed and think that somehow if I try to fix it on my own then I am showing God that I really can do this. Like I’m trying to prove something to Him. Even still, I end up failing. And find myself hurt, confused, and like a failure. Swallow the pride and eat the false humility and just accept that you are nothing without Him and His grace is the only thing that will get you through. After all, we were destined to fail until we became rescued by Jesus and now we have been born again to win!

Is it worth it?

Being a disciple must have been the greatest thing on Earth! To follow Jesus. To be chosen to walk around and be known as a follower of the Christ. Go with Him everywhere, see His miracles, hear His teachings, and be front and center in the action! They even got to walk in His power and see miracles from their own hands. Their life seemed amazing. Easy. Walking with the Lord and trusting Him everyday. Leaning on His strength and not worrying about a thing. Not that perfect. They all had their doubts and fears like we do. But walking side by side with the Lord in flesh seemed like nothing else was as perfect.

 

The Bible says MANY are called but FEW are chosen. Who calls? God. Who chooses? Us. We choose if we walk the narrow path that we have been called to. It goes along with free will. If you notice, there were very few disciples. Ever wonder why that is? The sacrifice. They paid a price to walk with the Lord. They left their jobs, their families, their hobbies, their animals, and some even lost their names, identities. They chose that life. They gave up everything. Literally, everything, to follow Jesus. Wow. To think about it, it’s like I don’t even know what else to say at this point.

 

They gave up their identity and their lives. You know what, God is requiring the same from us if we want to be his disciples, or followers. What we hold dear to us, we must lay it down. Our life as we know it will be turned upside down if we follow Him. Our life is not our own any longer and we become “dead to this world and alive unto God.” But we don’t have to!! It’s our choice how far into we God we go. But there are levels, and the highest level is the highest price. The best thing is, what we give up in this world is all temporary and it will all vanish and turn into nothing. We gain everything when we follow God with our lives.

 

Let me tell you from experience. This giving up thing is not easy. It’s so hard. So hard. Certain areas in all of our lives, God will ask us to give something up that won’t be too hard. Then there will be those things that feels like you are ripping in to pieces. Although we aren’t flesh walking with Jesus like the disciples did, and it seemed like it might have been easier for them, it’s just the same if not easier for us. We have the Holy Spirit. We have a new nature. We can walk with the same exact power, and do miracles and mighty things that Jesus never even got to do on this Earth! So rejoice!

 

So if you feel like I did not so long ago, and you think it isn’t worth it, let me tell you. It is so worth it. When you lay down your life and become an open vessel and humble servant to Lord and make it known your life is His now and not your own, then you will began changing and become transformed. The grace to succeed that comes with obedience will mesmorize you! And when you are standing before a blind 5 year old little girl and you watch God heal her with your hands, you will look back at what seemed like unbearable pain and suffering now, and say, “It was all worth it.” I want to be that person. Will you join me in the race? Lay down your life, pick up your cross, and run, don’t walk, RUN after Jesus!

In disgust.

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing. I attend a few church services a week. Enough to feel ok about myself and my life. Even lately, I haven’t been going to church as much as I used to, or even as much as I should. We’ve heard it for years. The whole analogy, just because you go to McDonalds doesn’t make you a hamburger, and just because you live in a garage doesn’t make you a car. So just because you go to church doesn’t make you a Christian. You can sit in a presence of God filled service and get the goosebumps, be content with a few tears of joy you got from a prayer line. Then go home and go back to your old ways. We all know about it. We all have suffered from being guilty of this very thing at least once in our life. If you deny it you are lying. We’re human.

 

Years and years of teaching. Years of gained knowledge from being in church, reading the Word, and even the small amounts of time spent with God alone. We gain something. Then we become what is known as a “fat christian.” We do nothing with what we have. We sit in our own waste and get fat. We are accountable for everything we know. But we do nothing about it. I’m not trying to point fingers. I’m actually pointing it at myself. I’m mostly having us all examine our lives. American Christianity is so spoiled. We know more than most and more than we realize. So no one has an excuse not to do what has been asked of us. We all have ministries. In the workplace, at the grocery store, the gas station, and the swimming pool! There are hurting people everywhere! Look around you for crying out loud! Let people see the Jesus in you and take every moment as an opportunity to bring healing to someone’s life. Stop making excuses. Being selfish and too busy and wrapped up in your own life. What’s the point. Nothing here matters. It’s all temporal. The only thing eternal is life.

 

I sit here looking at pictures of my pastor ministering in Brazil right now. A young girl had a disease where she had a growth problem. My pastor prayed for her, and in the next few services, or days, I can’t remember exactly, she was in pain. Her bones were growing and she grew 3 inches. Everyone at the church could witness because they knew her. So you can’t tell me that isn’t God. But what makes me sick is that I am living in my own little confined life worrying about what shoes to buy or how my hair looks, or what I should eat today for the 10th time, when my pastor sits in his closet for hours and prays and seeks God, and doesn’t eat for days from fasting to kill his flesh so that he can go to Brazil and have God use him and such miracles. Um, I feel pretty low right now. Not in condemnation because God sees us all where we are at. But in motivation and disgust to do something different. Seriously. We don’t have to stay the way we are in our ugly selves. Mostly, there are hurting and dying people out there that God loves sooo incredibly much and He is counting on us to reach out to them. It’s the greatest call on a life. And we are all called to it. So I hope this kicked you into gear a little bit like the sight of those pictures of Brazil did me.

it troubles me..

I am very troubled in my spirit. I think we can all agree that music is powerful. We can hear a song with a catchy tune and be humming it for days. We can sing lyrics that if we really think about it, they make no sense. But it sticks. We as humans were made that way. What’s funny to me is that satan, when he was an angel, was in charge of Heavens glorious music. That was his “speciality” if you will. He knew what pleasure it brought God and all who worshipped Him.

 

Confession. The Bible says simply, “you get what you say.” Words are seeds. If you constantly confess sickness over your life, you therefore will end up sick. If you constantly confess prosperity, then you will be financially blessed. It’s basic principals I think we have all been taught.

 

Take those two things and add them together. Confession IN music. I was in the car on the way back to work from my lunch break. I had the radio station playing that does the “lunch time cardio jams” and I was driving along chillin. This song came on and immediately the music caught my ear. The guitar gave me chills, then the words started. Immediately I began crying. It grieved my spirit. It was a song I had heard once before and it got caught in my head for the whole day. I refused to listen to it anytime it ever played again….

 

A girl sings it. Here is a taste of the lyrics, “I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chap stick. I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it. It felt so wrong, it felt so right.” The whole songs speaks about confusion but enjoyment. As I said.. I was grieved!!! It has such a catchy tune that you find yourself singing it. Um, confession? Go around singing that all day long and loving it, find yourself buying the c.d. just for that song. Listen to it 20 times a day, then tell me you don’t start having lesbain desires!

 

This is just a song you might say. I say this is serious. Satan knows how music works. And we are being brainwashed. Subliminal messages if you will. So many young girls, at the age of exploring and confusion will buy this song and love it. Have it as a ringtone. And we sit back and wonder why our world is so messed up!! I still refuse to listen to that song. It’s catchy and I refuse to sing those words. It truely breaks my heart. I realize now more than ever why God tells us to be careful what we hear. Now, more than ever, as the times change and society changes, we really have to be careful what we let in.

 

I think as christians, it’s important that we keep our guard up and that we allow ourselves to become intercessors for this generation. “My heart isn’t for the youth” you might say. Well you might as well just get over that grandma! Things are different than when you were growing up and the bad music you listened to was the Beach Boys. Today is evil. And our children, our teens, our youth, are being tossed around the atmosphere and bounced back and forth with what society tells them is “hot”! They are our next leaders. These children that are “kissing girls just to try it” will be senators, doctors, and huge corporation owners someday. Your future is in their hands. And I hate to tell you, but things are only going to get worse from here. So stop judging them! For crying out loud. Stop judging our youth and use the authority you have been given for crying out loud and pray for them! They need you. Don’t judge. Pray. And be careful what you allow in your hearts.

free will. blessing or curse?

Sometimes I think it isn’t fair to have a free will. It’s like it’s almost punishment. I would rather be made to do something than have the option to make the wrong decision. The idea that path of my life and the direction it takes is scarey. One thing I am learning though is when you live for God that He will bless whatever you put your hand to. The Bible says if even you give a cup of cold water in His name you will have a reward. And people live that kind of life all the time.

 

It’s what the Bible means when it says there is God’s good, acceptable, and perfect will. I used to overlook that until I found out the true meaning of it. We have the right to chose where our life goes. God will bless it either way. You can live in His good will, His acceptable will, or His perfect will. I like to think that His perfect will is that path very few people take. It’s where they die to themselves completely. They die to their dreams and desires and live every single day to hear God’s voice in everything they do. I would also think that the average Christian lives in the good will. They go to church, are good people, have families and good jobs. They love God and live for Him, but within their own comforts and agenda’s. Enough to ease their conscience that they are “Christians.” And then there is the acceptable will folks. They’re the ones that are doing something for God. Maybe they thought because one time they spoke at a youth function and everyone loved it so much they thought they should preach. So they build this whole ministry on a foundation of talent to speak in front of a group of people. They are doing the work of the Lord and reaching many people for His kingdom. But they were never called to preach. They were called to be a minister in the workplace! (for the sake of an example.)

 

So you might be kinda lost right now. But my whole point is to make you squirm a little and figure out what category you fit in. You know what, what brings God pleasure most is our obedience. We can worship Him and pray all day long, feel better about ourselves for spending “quality time” with Him, but if there is something He has been wanting us to do and we have still failed to do it, would He enjoy our “I love you’s” more or our obedience of what He asked. Any parent could probably answer that question! Now, of course God loves our worship and petitions and He will accept that anyway. He loves us where we are and He always will. It is our choice how far in God we go. It is our choice how obedient we become. It is our choice to live the good, acceptable, or perfect will of God. Either way, He will still love us the same. He will still bless what we do for Him. If all we ever do is love Him and live the simple Christian life, He will love us even then. It isn’t about what works we do for Him, how much recognition we recieve, how much fame we achieve. It’s about our fellowship with Him. Obedience to His word. You have to take one step at a time to get where you are going. If you try to take too many you will trip over your feet and fall.

 

Not to go down a rabbit trail, but just remember. Bottom line. He loves us. He meets us where we are. All He wants is us. But we choose. How much we want of Him. Don’t seek the gifts. Don’t seek the fame and satisfaction in ministry. Seek Him. Every day, every day. Whatever life you choose for yourself, know that He is still there to bless it. So, is free will such a bad thing after all?

The waves are crashing.

I feel completely jaded. Carried away with the waves and washed up on shore. Over and over again. I leap into the ocean and find myself being tossed onto shored along with the jelly fish and seashells. All they do is exist and lay there. Probably from exaustion. Trying to resist the natural currents pushing them out of their water onto dryer land. I’m tired of being tossled in the waves, I want to ride them. I want to be in sync with the rapid motions of whistful serenity. That’s what life is all about…

 

My life has been just very that lately. My heart feels as if it continually gets trampled on. My mistake is where I’ve been placing my heart to begin with. After so many years, so many heartaches, and so many bad decisions, one would think they would keep their heart in an iron box with a lock on it. I suppose I do in a sense. I keep the wrong part in the box and let the sensitive vulnerable side have the side of the box with the breathing hole.

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m tired of jumping in with all I am and all that I have just to turn around and be washed up again, broken hearted and bruised from the crashing waves. Guard your heart. Protect it as much as you can. I understand more and more why the Bible clearly tells us that. There’s obviously things we can’t avoid from happening but we can hide ourselves under the wings of the Almighty loving and wonderful God. I want to ride the waves, not be carried away by them.

I laugh in the face of emotions!

Everything was going wrong. I woke up late. I scurried to the bathroom and stumbled into the shower. I scribbled my makeup on and ratted my hair. I slapped some toothpaste on my teeth and jerked a bottle of water out of the fridge. I ran down the stairs frantically to make it to work on time when I missed the last step and landed right on my back side, breaking my shoe. I was emabarrassed, irritated and frustrated! I walked at a very fast pace to my car and quickly sped out of the parking lot before anyone could see me. I hit every red light, I got behind every slow car, and I got stuck in the gas station parking lot while trying to grab some fruit and call it breakfast. I was late for work and this was not a good morning. Could the day possibly get any worse?

 

Well it could actually. All that really wasn’t that bad. What was bad was the way my emotions reacted to everything. I was irritated, flustered and frustrated. But why do we have to let a bad morning set the course for our entire day? Believe it or not, people do it every single day. They let one small inconvenience and the way it makes them feel, tell them, this is how you are going to feel today. Hmm, I call that being controlled by your emotions. Which is not good. The Bible talks about not being moved by what we see or feel. When we are led by our emotions and not by our spirit that’s when we get in trouble.

 

So I decided to put my emotions in check and not be controlled by them. I will not let a small inconvenience steal my peace and joy today! The Bible speaks of a joy that no one can take away. Because of our free will we choose each day how or day will go and how we let things affect us. If we are not moved by feelings, which goes in concordance to our faith, then why will we let something change our mood? In all things give thanks. So it’s a fabulous thing to know that we can have such peace and joy in Christ that we don’t have to let anything affect us. The storms can be raging around us and all hell in our lives can be breaking lose, but we still make that decision of how we will react. When we know that unshakeable peace that is available to us through His grace then of course we will pick the good day!! So have a good day and tell your emotions who’s boss! 

What we desire.

To let something die means to cut off it’s life. Not to bring it back. When there are things in your life that you need to get rid of, like what I discussed previously, then you just have to let it die. There is nothing but consequences in bringing them back to life.

 

The other day when I was contemplating playing around with the things I cut out of my life, a scripture passage popped into my mind very strongly. I was thinking about it for a few days. It goes back to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah and Lot and his family in the book of Genesis.

 

The people from the town demanded to sleep with the angels visiting Lots home; while instead he offered them his daughters. The angels took care of the evil men pressuring Lot. They told Lot to gather his entire family for they would take them out of the city. They were sent on assignment to destroy the city. It was such a horrible, sinful place. So Lot gathered his family and was sent to flee the city by dawn or they too would be punished and destroyed. The Lord was merciful to them and told them to flee to the mountains and never look back. Key words.

 

Genesis 19:24-26 says, “24 Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. 26 But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.” It’s funny to me how verse 26 is short and to the point then it moves on to something else and you can completely overlook the most important verse in this passage. “But Lot’s wife looked back and became a pillar of salt” is the verse that came so vibrantly to my mind. And that’s when I fully understood…

 

She looked back because she desired what was there. That is why she turned into a pillar of salt. She was destroyed. Yes, physically she left the place, but her heart still desired it and that is what destroyed her. So all that to say this. With those sinful desires in your life, or those imperfections that we strive to rise above and move beyond, we can still be destroyed by them if we look back to see what we’re missing. We’re not missing anything. So we shouldn’t long for something we let go of. We should move forward and never EVER look back. There is only greatness in God. There is absolutely nothing this world could offer that is better than what God has to offer. So, once you let go of whatever it is you know you need to let go of, don’t look back. We have enough seasoning in this world. We don’t need anymore salt! haha

I want, I need, so I ask.

I was shopping after work yesterday and was extremely bummed that I couldn’t find anything cute, cheap, and something that fit. What is this world coming to!!! I was walking down an aisle in between the skirts and the half a piece of fabric they call shirts, when i heard it. A mother speaking very loudly, more than likely embarrassing her daughter because I know I was embarrassed for her. She said, “no, I’m not going to buy you something from Abercrombie when you’re going to grow out of it in a week!” I looked over as the girl quickly dropped her stare to the floor in utter disappointment. “I’m not made of money you know,” her mother continued. As I got a better look they were both not the most attractive I’ve seen, and the girl’s clothes were ratty and didn’t match. My heart was broken.

 

I remember growing up when I would hear that phrase time after time, “I’m not made of money”, or “money doesn’t grow on trees.” I used to get so upset at my parents. I couldn’t understand the concept of not getting what I wanted. I mean, all my friends did, so why not me? There was one time I remember I wanted a certain brand so badly but we couldn’t afford it so my mom played a makeshift fashion designer and sewed on a label. I know my parents always wanted to give me the best, but they gave me the best they could. As a parent, I know you would love to give your children everything they wanted and anything to make them happy. Reality is, you can’t afford to do that most of the time, and if they always got what they wanted they wouldn’t learn to appreciate anything.

 

Matthew 7:11 says, ” So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” Much like the mother in the store, I’m sure she wanted to give her daughter a credit card to go to Abercrombie so her daughter could look better than all the kids and they would think, man I wish I had her parents. But she couldn’t afford to do it so she reacted in anger towards her daughter probably in frustration of knowing she has late bills, 5 kids who need clothes, and a dead end job. For benefit of telling a story. But Matthew tells us above, “those who ask him.” Whether we be the child or the parent in this situation, we are still God’s child. He will give good gifts to whoever asks Him.

 

People have grown up in religion thinking that God is the kind that wants the slash a whip and tell you to get back in line when you mess up. That He is sitting up there debating if you “deserve” something that you are asking for, and all He is doing is teaching you a lesson. WHAT? Really? Not even close. Come on people. GOD IS LOVE. Really, if that was the only thing you ever heard then you are doing good. If you can focus on just that then maybe that will blow your theologies out of the water that God is a God of wrath! He is a Father. If even the sinful dad’s on this earth can go out and buy Abercrombie for their kids then don’t you think a loving, wonderful, and perfect Father can do even more than that!?

 

This isn’t about buying clothes or even just material gifts, but it is to show that we don’t rely on our boss to provide for us. We don’t need to rely on our spouse to provide for us. We don’t need to rely on our parents to provide for us. God is our only provider. The Bible also says in Mark 11:24 “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” All you have to do is ask and believe. It’s your’s. Learn to believe that God loves you and only wants the best for you. Not only will He provide the things you need, but the things that you want according to His will. So you have no need to worry and don’t you dare take credit for what you have. It’s by His generous hand that you are blessed.

Leave it in the past.

You can’t help but wonder sometimes where you might be if you had made some different decisions in the past. One simple decision that you think nothing of can change the whole course of your life. Who would have thought a job that I took 3 years ago, and quit 2 years ago would still be affecting my life? I can’t help but wonder if I could have saved myself several years of heartache just by choosing to work somewhere else. But who would have known the outcome?

 

You can’t ever worry about what might have been. You can’t use your if’s, and’s or but’s. Those are not aloud in life. Life is only present and future. The past is forever gone and there is nothing you can do to change it. Granted, your present is a result of your past. Therefore your future shall be a result of your present. So why worry about the past when what you should worry about is your future inevitably making your present extremely important. What are you doing with you’re “right now?” How many wasted days do we let go by in saying, “Oh I will just do it tomorrow.” NOW is the time for change. For NOW the Kingdom is at hand. Everything you need is available to you NOW. Healing, forgiveness, freedom, blessings, and love. It’s all available to you now. It doesn’t matter what you did 5 minutes ago much less 5 years ago. Let go. Move on. It’s a new day. It’s a new minute. You can’t undo what you did an hour ago. But you can start anew this hour.

 

I have spent too many months and even years punishing myself for the mistakes I have made. Why am I punishing me when God doesn’t even punish me? God see’s us differently than we see ourself and you should see yourself the way God see’s you. I want to always walk with a repentive heart but I also know I am human and will fail every now and then. But that is where God’s grace comes in to pick me up and give me the extra that I need to keep moving in what He wants for me.

 

So I am bringing another challenge to the table today. I’m sure there are things in every one of our lives that we wish we could change. There are probably still things that some of us are holding on to that we need to let go of. Some unforgiveness for ourselves. Like I said, you can’t change the past but you can pave the way for your future. So start new today. Let go of some things. I pray that the Lord shows you things throughout the day that you need to let go of. There are higher levels He wants to take you and you are the only one keeping it from happening. Romans 8:27 says, “And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” In other words, let the Holy Spirit search your heart and show you. His searching lines up with the will of God and the mind of Christ. So what better person to have search the crevices of your heart than part of the God head?!