Your strength, or His?

There is another part to what God spoke to me the other night. There is a place in Him where you don’t have to feel beaten up and condemned for your failures and your mess ups. We all do stupid things everyday. Some of us have our outgoing image or our happy face that we put on everyday for the world to see. Inside though, we are crying and kicking and screaming. Some of us are dealing with hidden sin, insecurities and strongholds that we can’t rid ourselves of.

 

For the past few years I have let my behind be kicked time and time again by the same thing. I would come around the mountain and it would pop up in my face again. Everytime I felt like I would kick it, it would kick me! When I thought I had once and for all gotten rid of it, it would rear its ugly face again! When you hate something so much and its in your face for 3 years straight, and you feel like you are doing all you can but nothing is stopping it, you might start feeling like a failure. You can’t do anything right. Why can’t you beat this thing?

 

Well if anyone knows about feeling like a piece of dirt in that area it’s me. But one thing I finally realized, or should I just say, God revealed to me, is the truth of doing things in your own strength. For years I have heard, “you are doing it in your own strenght!” I would get so frustrated because I would think but how? How do you know when you are and how do you not?! I couldn’t fully understand that. Even now I still have more I would like to learn in that area. I understand the concept of not taking the care of a problem, giving it to God, and letting Him handle it. But in practical application how do you do it? Well I got it! ….

 

You admit that you are nothing. You can’t do it on your own. You are a screw up. BUT, because of the cross God’s grace is there to sustain you. To hold you up. To fight your battles for you. There is nothing you can do without God anyway. So laying in my bathtub crying because I wanted rid of this problem, God’s love calmed me down and let me see that He is not afraid of my mess up’s. He see’s my heart. He knows I want to change and that is all that He needs to do the work. When I take the care of the problem; feeling guilty, beating myself up, feeling like I can’t do it, then I have just taken God’s ability to do it for me. I have no faith in myself that I can do it. But I have faith that God can do it. He already did. Everything I need was provided at the cross. So my measly little problem is nothing He hasn’t seen before and nothing He won’t see again. He knows how to take care of it. I just have to trust Him.

 

Before I would get all fired up and get that I CAN attitude. Then I would fall right back into my mess and feel like a failure all over again. This time, I will press in, seek God’s face and if I mess up then I will cover it with the Blood, move on and keep going. You’ve heard it many times; the analogy of falling of the horse, but brush yourself off and keep going. That’s what it is. But by giving it to God and not doing it in your strength is when you say, I can’t do this, I probably will mess up, but I trust you God. The more I seek you, the more I love you, the easier it will be and less of a desire for other things I will have. Don’t make excuses to sin, that’s not what I’m saying. But if you are sincerely trying, God see’s that and honors an honest heart. Let Him be your everything. Don’t worry about fixing your life. That’s His job. Just seek His face, His ways, His smile, and His desires and everything else will be taken care of!

He really does love us.

I had a really delightful weekend. I decided to take a nice long, hot bath. Thinking about the weekend and some other random things; I was minding my own business. All of a sudden I felt God. He came. He showed up. I began to cry and He began to speak to me. He reached down and touched my heart in the sweetest way. He spoke personal things over me and also something I wanted to share with all of you because what He spoke to me personally, He is saying to every one of us.

 

He loves us. He really, really loves us. You are his child. His baby. His pride and joy. You were kidnapped by someone so evil and God the Father sent His son. His only son to come down to a sinful world to rescue you. To bring you back home to the family. He weighed all of his options and even factored in the possibility of you not ever accepting Him and recieving His love, but He came anyway. He gave up everything. He sacrificed His very life to save you. To rescue you. To bring you home because His Father loves you, and He loves you.

 

All He wants is you. You are the most important thing to Him. He waited thousands of years for your existance. Can’t you see His excitement to your birth. He delights Himself in you. He knows every little detail about you. And He loves it all. Your weaknesses and your strengths; they don’t scare Him. He’s God. He made the sunset, the mountains, the rivers and the flowers all for your enjoyment. He made YOU to love Him and to be loved by Him. He made the earth we live on for our enjoyment. What brings us pleasure brings Him so much joy.

 

He wants to know you here. Here on earth. Christianity is about a relationship with Jesus now. Not just a ticket to heaven and an escape from the pits of hell. The whole reason Jesus died was to not only save you from hell’s grasp, but to save you and bring you back to the family from which you come from. What if you were a baby and a horrible killer kidnapped you from your family. You were rescued and someone paid the ultimate price to bring you home and you were so grateful. You cried and rejoiced and was so thankful to be home to the family that loves you. Then, you left and never talked to your family unless you needed something. You would remember every now and then what was done to rescue you, but you would quickly forget and think on other things that were “more important.” All along, your dad is sitting in his rocking chair, (for benefit of a visual) and waiting. Waiting for you to come sit on his lap and let him be your dad. Everyone tells him it’s hopeless. You aren’t going to come home. But He doesn’t give up on you. He doesn’t care. He’s not giving up. And he will wait for years with open arms until you come home and kiss him on the cheek…..

 

…..That is our God. Our heavenly Father. That is how He is. And even more loving than we can even grasp the concept of. So many of us worry about the gifts and talents we were given. We focus so much on being in the ministry or being used of God and thinking that will fulfill us and that will take the place of God. No way. Not true. Those callings on our lives are a gift for us. God is giving us an opportunity to be used by Him. But it should never replace our personal relationship with Him. If you seek after the gifts and not God then you shall surely fail. Because like I said, our calling is just a gift, not the relationship. All He cares about is you. Only you. He only wants you.

 

I really hope that you took that and grasped what was said. That was God speaking to me. I had a tiny revelation of His love last night and I pray that you too will have your own experience with Him. =)

Hey you! Be you!

“That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.”—William J.H. Boetcker

 

This is my new quote! It is very true. We should never compromise our beliefs and what we stand for to make another person happy. We should never hide behind who we are out of fear of what others might think of us. When we don’t let the person we are shine, we become miserable. Maybe some of us don’t really know who we are because we let everyone else our whole lives tell us. Maybe we don’t know what we want because other people have made decisions for us. Maybe we don’t know what to do because other people have told us what to do.

 

What about those of us who DO know who we are, what we want, and where we’re going? Will we still be intimidated by the world and back down? You should surround yourself with people you bring out the best in you. Not the worst. Yes there are people along the way that aren’t going to like everything you do, or even like everything about you, but that doesn’t mean you should stop being who you are.

 

I was in a relationship a few years back. I would say it was pretty serious. But from the fact that I was really young and believed anything a guy said, at that point I didn’t really know how to be agressive. As the relationship increased I decreased. Who I was quickly faded into who he was. We had nothing in common in every area imaginable. Our interests, our taste in music, the foods we enjoyed, the places we liked, the friends we had were all completely different. You might think, then why were you with him? I’d like to know the answer to that myself! Anyway, my point is I sacrificed everything I liked and everything I was for him. Until I was transformed into his ways. I was completely miserable but overlooked it. I tried to convince myself I was happy. But who I was on the inside was screaming to be let out of this tiny box it was shoved into. When we finally broke up and I could be myself again without feeling guilty, I could finally breathe!

 

That is one example, but I really feel like a lot of us deal with that same feeling in many different circumstances. There is nothing wrong with the way you are. I might have to say it again. There is, nothing, wrong, with the way you are! Don’t be afraid to be yourself!!!! If you are in a relationship where you feel like you are in a box, then it’s not right. If you are around people that don’t encourage your talents or participate in your interests, then get around new people. If you have to stoop so low that you are ashamed of what you like and what you believe and what you do, then re-examine why you subject yourself to that!

 

Read this again and have a great weekend!

Shake the rug.

Sometimes it’s really hard to make the right decision. You factor in how it will affect other people and how it will change your life. Even simple decisions will affect lives. A lot of the time doing the right thing is a lot harder than doing the wrong thing. The wrong thing is easy but it can make you feel miserable. Doing the right thing brings you freedom but it can also come with pain.

 

In my life, I was battling back and forth with making a certain decision. I knew I had to do it, and once I did it things would only go up from there. But at the same time it was one of the hardest things I had to do. I made it hard. It was one of those things that you decide to do, then you go back to it, thus making it harder to let go of again. I did this about 3 times. Said I was done but then I really wasn’t. Finally something inside of me clicked that said, “I don’t want this in my life forever so it’s now or never.”

 

I think that each of us have things in our life just lingering around. We think it’s not causing too big of a problem and it’s a lot easier not to deal with it. It’s like shaking a dusty rug. When a rug is dirty it all clings to the material. When we shake it out to clean it dust goes flying everywhere. You might cough and get some in your eyes for a second, but when it all calms down you are glad you did because now it’s clean. That works like cleaning the “dust” out of our lives. Like I said, we all have things in our “closets” that we need to clean and get rid of. It’s those little things that we think are acceptable and can be overlooked that we really need to deal with.

 

For me, if I had kept on going with this certain, one thing, it would continue forming a pattern in my life. Even though it was one simple thing, it roots back to one big problem. Until you get sick and tired of dealing with it, it will always be there. In your face. Not to sound repetitive on a few emails back, but I really feel like right now God is wanting to do a big thing in each of our lives. In order for Him to do that there are things He wants us to deal with. He wants us to shake our rugs and rid ourselves of the dirt that has been collecting over the years. Will you let Him do that? Lets clean some house!

Love is.

Everyone wants to feel loved. We crave it. We crave love, attention and acceptance. If a baby is born and is not touched and is completely ignored, it will die. Die from the lack of feeling loved. Love is what we cry out for in our actions, our words, our clothing, and our music. We sing about it, we watch movies and cry about it, and we put ourselves in compromising relationships to feel love.

 

The words, I wanna know what love is… or, looking for love in all the wrong places… It’s showing us that not only does our world need love, it’s crying out to know where it is and what it is. You can try to find acceptance from a group of friends by doing something impressive. You live on a high for a bit but that doesn’t fulfill you completely. You never got the love you thought you needed from your parents, so you spend your years in and out of unhealthy relationships giving everything you have until there is nothing left. You turn to alcohol to take your mind off of things because you don’t want to deal with it. Getting drunk is fun and you’re happy. You take drugs to calm it all down so you can function in everyday life. You over indulge in food because you are so depressed that you are overweight, but you keep eating more because you find comfort in it.

 

Love is not complicated. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not rude. Love does not get jealous. Love does not brag or is arrogant. Love is not selfish or quick tempered. Love doesn’t keep count of wrongs that others do. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful and trusting. Love never fails.

 

Do you want the kind of love that makes you feel like the only person in the world? Someone that knows everything about you. Someone that smiles in adoration at your every move. A pure love that can never ever stop loving you no matter what you do. No matter what you’ve done. And knowing that you might really screw up in the future. They still love you. They ache so badly with love for you. They’re crazy, madly, and unconditionally in love. With you. They would even sit there, reaching out to you for the rest of your life, taking a chance that you might never ever give them the time of day. They would still love you just as much. The would jump at your every request. They would show you the beauty of nature and say it was all for you. They would even die for you. And they did. His name is Jesus. He is the most romantic, the most caring, understanding, and perfect one.

 

The reason the world is searching and searching for love and can’t ever be completely fulfilled is because they look for it everywhere other than where it really is. It can only be found in Jesus. I know this from experience. I have ran many times to different avenues. Alcohol, guys, food, and acting out for attention. We as humans will only keep running until we stop. Turn around. And look at this beautiful person holding out their nail scarred hands, their kind and gentle eyes, and their accepting smile, and take hold. Take hold of his hands. He will never stop loving you, never let you down, and never let you go.

Contentment is underestimated.

I have curly hair and I wish it were straight. I have a new car but I want a newer one. I have a diamond ring but it’s not as big as my friend’s. I got a new cell phone but it’s not as cool as the more expensive ones. I like my house but the one down the street is nicer. I love my man but what if there is a better one. Are any of these thoughts that cross through your mind every now and then? Some would call that being not content with what you have. You can never be satisfied with what you have no matter what it is.

 

Granted, there are goals to work towards and seeing yourself in the same place as you are now 5 years ahead is depressing. Make goals and something to work towards, but don’t dismiss what you have now. Yes everyone else has something we wish we had and maybe we can turn bitter towards them for having what we would like. Why? Be happy for them. And be happy with who you are. God made you so individual that no one ever created within the thousands of years of life has ever been like you. You have something to offer that no one else does. So stop wishing you were someone else and be who you are.

 

Each one of us has a gift and a talent that is our own. Each one of us was made to look the way we are for a reason. We were created beautiful in our own way. The things that you have you should be thankful for. No  matter what they are. Don’t feel insecure because you are excited over something that you have that someone else might look down upon. The pressures of inferiority is sickening.

 

Before you can gather up  better things in life you have to be happy with what you have or those other things will be insignificant. Enjoy who you are as a person before you let someone else in your life. People need to respect theirselves more and realize it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks about you. So what, you’re weird! Awesome! So am I. But I love who I am and for so many years I let other people’s opinions define who I am. I dance pretty heavily in my car to music that is blaring when no one else is around. I really don’t care! I am who I am. I may dress differently than you, but does that make me better or you better? No way. Just different. So embrace who you are, what you have, what you want, where you’ve been, and where you want to go. Stop for nothing and be ambitious. But don’t overlook the small people on the way.

 

Today’s challenge to examine the things in your life that you are thankful for. The things that are tangible and are not. Look at your life and the things you don’t like, see how you can change them so you’re not in the same place next year. Only you have control of the direction your life takes. Enjoy the day!

Hurry. Busy. Fast.

Yesterday I talked about how important it is to step back and appreciate life. It’s shorter than we like to think. But more importantly than enjoying your family there is another level to reach.

 

I was sitting at the stop light the other day in the turning lane. The weather was fantasticly springy. The wind was blowing just enough to capture the small pieces of hair around my face with my half cracked window. I was listening to some mellow music and just enjoying that moment immensly. I zoomed out of the moment like in a movie when the character has a flashback. I watched every person driving by and almost all of them were on their cell phones. Of course it’s modern day technology and everyone is doing it…. but what did it used to be like?

 

There were days even in my lifetime when cell phones weren’t around. People survived believe it or not. It’s like now people are in way too big of a hurry to enjoy life. By life I don’t mean the turbo speed that we live. Everything has a quicker way of doing things. People aren’t as friendly. I mean seriously, when did we become so busy? Is that even neccesary? I really don’t think so. It reminds me of a scene from Sweet Home Alabama when the teller says they don’t have an ATM machine on “account of losing personal contact with the customers.” That proves a good point. Everything is done now where you practically don’t even have to deal with people. Calling a customer service hotline you talk to a stupid operator the whole time! What’s that about?

 

I may just be rambling on about something that I can’t change, but in our own lives we can do something about it. Take a lesson from the old days. People never got in a hurry. I guarantee that’s a main reason you see the elderly driving 25 in a 50. It isn’t entirely because they are frightened, it’s because they don’t have a need to get in a hurry. We could all use a good slap in the face sometimes.

 

I challenge you. Go one day. Just one day. No Blackberry email updates. No text messaging. You go from a busy day at work, to the radio in your car, to texting and checking your email via cell phone internet. You get home, pop in a frozen dinner, watch a little TV then go to bed. You ignore your spouse because you are too tired. What? Really? How bout you turn off the TV. Turn off the computer. Turn off your cell phone. Talk. The old fashion way. Enjoy the company of your living partner. Take your dog for a walk and enjoy outside. Have some family time. Have some quiet time even. Read a book. Talk to God. Sew a pillow. Whatever. I guarantee you will have a panic attack. It’s like you are disconnected from the outside world. You don’t know what to do with yourself. Good. Live like they did a few years back. Everyone was happier, nicer, and more trusting. But more importantly, they understood what it was like to really live.

 

So that’s your challenge. Do it. Take technology away for a day. Of course work has to be a compromise. But when you clock out of your 8 hours for the day, enjoy yourself, your family and nature.

Time.

I spent the whole weekend conjuring up how I was going to fit my whole weekend experience in one small writing. Through many instances I could think of pages to write on one simple topic. I came to the conclusion of “time”.

 

I woke up bright and early on Saturday morning. Way too early for my only sleep in day of the week, but I felt much opportunity for that day with it being so early. I thought maybe I could pack since I’m moving in a week but that sounded like work, not fun. So the thought popped into my head to travel back home and surprise my family. I couldn’t have made a better decision. It would be a good 5 hour drive or so to clear my mind and give a great opportunity to get out of town. I would also get to enjoy the reactions from my family to my appearance. But little did I know it would be a great learning experiece for me by mere observation.

 

After being a city girl for nearly 5 years now, going back to my roots and trying to muster up memories of living there for my whole life was hard to imagine. I couldn’t even believe I lived in a place that was an hour to the nearest mall or McDonalds. I couldn’t believe I drove at least 20 minutes each time I wanted to go anywhere. Not to sound “city girl is better than you,” but I realized how we can forget where we come from sometimes. We can get soooo wrapped up in our lives and our huge minor problems and not respect or appreciate how we got where we are.

 

I got to spend time with a big portion of my family this weekend. I sat and watched. I listened. I put myself in everyone of their shoes. Looking at their lives. How they live. What they do in their small towns. Their jobs. Their families. Their happiness. And their ages. Up to this point I never thought I would grow up. I couldn’t reach the next years age fast enough in my mind. Now that I am at a decent age where I can appreciate life more something struck me this weekend. No one is getting any younger, and time isn’t slowing down. I saw the beauty of my grandma. She’s such a radiant woman and has had a long life. Life is short. I think we like to live like we have so much time. We take life for granted and we take advantage of the privilage to live.

 

It’s a scarey thought to think of life ending. No one likes to think about it and I’m not trying to put a damper on things. What I am trying to do is maybe let us all take a look at our lives. Step back and appreciate your family. Spend some time if you can just watching them. Taking in everything. A good 80-90 years of life sounds like a long time but it really isn’t. Don’t get so caught up in yourself where you can’t learn something from someone older or even younger than you. Everyone has something to learn and everyone has something to teach. Enjoy the company of someone else. Compromise your interests for someone elses for a minute. If you like rap music but your mom likes country, then endure it to make her happy. Buy your uncle lunch one day. Wash your grandma’s car. Time is too short to waste it on yourself.

 

So for me, taking a road trip on a whim was just what I needed to get out of town, refocus on my life, appreciate nature’s beauty and the bond of a family. Don’t waste time on the superficial things in life.

Storms? Not so bad.

I was harshly awakaned to the sound of pounding rain and roaring winds at 2 a.m. I stumbled around half asleep for my remote and turned on the news. The steady sound of the weather man’s voice arrived in my room before the picture appeared. My tired eyes slowly adjusted to the bright light as my heart pounded at the rise of the winds. I looked at the TV and saw a red line across the area I live. No tornadoes but heavy winds. As the weather man barely got out the word ‘hail’, I heard it begin hammering away on my roof like nails. From the combination of being tired and reassured by Mr. Weather man, I turned off the TV and went back to sleep feeling indifferent. I said a silent prayer of protection and drifted back to dreamland.

 

So speaking of rain and water and wetness, I walked out to my car this morning and got my feet soaked from the rain a few hours before. I stand reminded today of how similar last night’s storm is to the storms of life. You might be coasting along happy and content, or well rested, when all of a sudden a storm wakes you out of your rest and your heart starts racing from anxiety. Normally I take the care of storms and let myself get frightened. I think if I stay up and listen to it or watch the weather that will somehow soothe me. Although it doesn’t stop the storm, and I’m not fixing anything by worrying about it, I still stay up and lose sleep. Last night I chose to trust God. I prayed a simple prayer, “God, please protect me. You always have and there is no reason you won’t do it now. So thank your for peace and protection, and I’m going back to sleep now.”

 

A simple prayer is really all it takes. We get in the mind set that everything has to be so complex to get across to God. You have to get on your knees, cross your hands, bow your head, spin around 3 times… anyway, it’s not hard. In life when storms come your way, all you have to do is thank Him. Thank Him for protecting you, keeping you, and giving you peace. You can’t really do anything about it anyway. Sure you can stay up and worry all night, but it does no good because nothing can be done in your own strength very long without failing.

 

So that old saying, “Let go and let God” is just very true. God created us in such a beautiful way. We were given a free will to choose how we want to live. We have choices. But the funny thing is, He made it impossible to live without Him. I mean, truly live. Life. When you give your life to Christ and you dive into the ocean of His love and forgiveness and choose to follow Him, then your life is no longer your own. So that must mean your battles and storms are not yours to fight. Do your part and thats to pray and trust God that He will take care of you. Think of a time when He didn’t? You might say, “well that one time when this happened and I got.. well, where was God then?” He was right there. Did you cry out to Him? Did you grab His reaching out hands? Never blame God for bad. He isn’t capable of it. He is love. And He also can’t love you more than He already does. And He loves you with the same love He loves Jesus. So that must be pretty good.

 

So, when lifes storms wake you up in a panic in the middle of the night, remember that you are not alone, and God will move mountains for you. You just have to give Him the authority to do it. Thats done through faith. Faith is obtained through hearing the Word of God. Go grab yourself some faith today!

 

Don’t leave too soon.

I had a dream last night that I was going on a trip with 2 of my close friends. I remember the it was getting dark outside and we weren’t supposed to leave until the next day, but I really wanted to leave that night. My mom warned me to wait but I was too stubborn to listen and knew we would be just fine to leave the night before. In result of that we got in a wreck. Although in my dream it was a minor thing like hitting a median and barely scratching my car and no one was hurt, but waking up this morning I sensed the meaning of the dream.

 

Too many times we get in a hurry about things. Either decisions we feel we need to make right away, or promises for the future that we want to make happen right now! Travis Klingeman said the other night at our young adults group, that he follows 2 guidelines of making a decision. Never do it out of opportunity or frustration. Sometimes a better offer looks good and its obvious what we should pick. But sometimes God has other plans and an attractive easy way can be sent by the enemy. Also, frustration can cause us to make a rash decision out of emotion.

 

The best thing to do is wait. Be patient. Stand still. Don’t move. There is a reason the Bible says that patience is a virtue. We all have the ants in my pants mentality sometimes and want to go go go right now! That is our culture. It’s a microwave society. But learn from my grandma who still cooks her soup on the stove and boils water for tea. She refuses to use a microwave. Thats saying two things. She is from the old school and does it the way she always has, and she also thinks, why get in a hurry? The same reason she takes hours to get ready and leave for work just to give herself plenty of time. We should learn from that. There really is no reason to hurry.

 

So for one thing, be patient. God sees exactly where you are. He hasn’t lost sight of you and He knows what you can handle. Also, don’t be hastey in decision making. Follow peace. We face decisions to make every single day. Try this little game next time. Give it some time and think before you act. Search for God’s voice in all of it. No matter how simple or complex, test your hearing God’s voice abilities. I guarantee that His way is much better than anything you could decide!